On Being Fucked: self equals suffering.

Alcoholic Dana, Intellectual Dana, Yogi Dana are all equally enslaved. Each is fucked the same, though in its own particular way. Even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time.

What I didn’t realize when I first got sober in 2008 was that Dana’s reinvention of herself as a spiritual seeker (“artist in recovery“) was logically no different than Dana as scientist, as philosopher, as world traveler, investment banker, femme assasin, yogi, adventure enthusiast, intellectual, mountain climber, blah blah blah, or whatever... or any other “version of self.”

To be sure, some of these versions of self may be more socially acceptable or desirable (e.g., scientist, spiritualist, logician) and/or healthier to their body vessel (e.g., yogi, rock climber), while others less so (e.g., alcoholic, femme fatale) — but in constitution they are all equal — all equally descriptive of the “bondage of self.”

Not convinced? Try getting out of the self through spiritual practice, psychedelics, service work, play, sex, drugs, rock and roll... What is this thing trying to get out of itself? What is this thing that is trying to free itself? What is this fucking “self”?

Today, the message is clear: All “self” is suffering. And seeking Higher Self or spirituality is still samsara.

Stop. 

Know what you are by seeing what you’re not. The infinite needs no definition. Welcome to no self.