How do I love myself unconditionally?

"i found god in myself
& i loved her
i loved her fiercely."
-- Ntozake Shange

One of the simplest, yet most profound realizations of my adult human life is that of unconditional self-love -- that idea that I acknowledge, accept, and embrace all aspects of myself, both the shadows and the sublime. 

Loving the totality of my being is not some theoretical exercise or thought experiment. It is something that I practice, daily, and through action. 

I practice unconditional self-love by doing loving actions for myself on a regular basis, and regardless of how I'm feeling at the moment; in fact, it's especially important that I practice self-love when I'm feeling low or negative, or when I feel the least deserving of love, since this is what makes my love unconditional. 

Loving actions are those that I perform with the intention of unconditional love -- those things that I would do for someone whom I loved very deeply with no expectations of receiving anything in return. These are the actions that most often make me feel good about myself -- either in the immediate moment (e.g., practicing yoga; taking a lavender bubble bath; massage), or after the fact, upon reflection (e.g., taking a nasty-tasting medication as prescribed).

I find that by acting more and more loving toward myself, I feel more and more loving toward myself -- and my heart, immeasurably large, grows greater still. By regularly practicing self-loving actions, the actions become habits, and I find that my default mode becomes one of unconditional self-love. So the attitude of self-love is cultivated over time, and becomes the norm from which I might deviate.

Obviously, there are times when I don't act with pure unconditional love, and when I act with anger, fear, and/or other negative intentions. If upon reflection, I find that my intentions were negative, or that my actions could have harmed myself or another human being, I allow myself to feel bad for a moment, then turn my attention toward what needs to be changed in my attitudes, thoughts and/or behaviors going forward. I make the changes, and I forgive myself for making mistakes. I forgive myself for not practicing unconditional love toward myself (and others) perfectly.

And so it is that by treating myself with lovingkindness, I become more patient, more kind, more tolerant and loving toward myself and others -- one act of love snowballs into Love, and I grow in my capacity to connect meaningfully with my fellow man. 

Today, I am grateful that as a simple human being, I can honor my connection with the Universe and all sentient beings by loving unconditionally, by practicing taking loving actions toward myself and others.