Healing Hands | the Channel | Beingness

It was a late evening in early March 2018 when I found myself holding hands among a strange group of women. We were practicing  a “connected healing” circle, my first such practice with Tammy Goldthorpe, a healer in the Lakota tradition.

I was open to whatever the experience might bring but not desirous or expectant of anything.

As is typical for me during spiritual practices, I cleared my mind before we began and asked Divine Creative Intelligence to flow though me — surrendering completely to the Great Reality.

We were guided in a deep but gentle meditation. As willing as I was to participate, I experienced a blankness of mind and resonant serenity that precluded any real visualization during the guided meditation. I was simply still, vast within the ever-so-black emptiness.

At one point in the practice, Rosanna, the beautiful, busty blue-eyed blond in my right hand started bawling. I directed the lens of my attention to Rosanna, just holding her lovingly in my mind’s eye.

It was a peaceful experience for me.

The circle concluded, and then we all talked.

—

“[Dana,] I could feel the love flowing through you from across the room,” Tammy nodded in my direction, “Powerful. It was beautiful.”

(Funny, I thought, because I couldn’t feel a thing from within the blankness.)

Rosanna added, “Dana, I have to tell you, I felt the greatest, most powerful love flowing through your hand — I’ve never felt love like this in my entire life  — and your hand felt hot. So hot. I started crying, it was so overwhelming. It was coming from you, from your hand.”

(Now two people are feeling it? And I didn’t feel a thing?)

Rosanna continued, “I was feeling so much pain, and I felt you take it away from me. So much pain, and it just left me. And more love and warmth was coming from your healing and loving energy through your hand than I’ve ever felt.”

(I felt nothing. At this point I’m just flabbergasted.)

Tammy affirmed, “You should allow some of that energy flowing through you to work on you, too.”

I should, I thought.

—

The next morning, I woke up feeling violently ill. Nauseous. Shaky. Like I had ingested poison, a hangover sans psychoactive substances.

What the fuck?

Next time, I’m not holding anyone’s energy for any reason, I resolutely declared.

I’m just letting it all pass through me...

And I’m allowing It to work on me.

—

And so today, I do. As I have been.

What passes through me is not of me, and I hold nothing unto myself.

I am free from the insomnia, tension headaches, generalized anxiety, and compulsive self-regulatory behaviors that plagued my early adulthood since childhood.

I experience a complete and utter peace of mind and body not only in meditative practice, during mindfulness, during focused activity — but as the new baseline.

I am filled with gratitude, wonder, and awe — in beingness — and not as in a transitory state.

And I look forward to sharing this gift with whomever may accept it.